argh, i cant fell asleep..
flipping on my bed, changing position..
and this has last for an hour until i decide to on my com instead of wastin time on bed.
tiingg is very extream today.
one extream, i am reali disquiet..
another extream, happy.
in e midst of laughers, i sigh..
in e midst of disquietness, i smiled.
isnt that nuts?


actually, i guess u guys can jus ignore my previous post.
ytd i felt that sense of victory..
and guess wat, today i felt so defeated.
oh well, does being angry with myself helps?
or mayb i should be mad at the cause of my 'breaking down'.
again and again, tiingg was destroyed by it.
God, help me!


if u noe me, flip-flop-ing on my bed is nth unusual..
yups, i have prob in falling asleep!
last night wasnt an exception.
was thinking abt wat can i do to exprience the real freedom that i am longing?
and this tot came across my mind..
+ account


some flashbacks..
the 1st time that i felt set-free was 2005, i supposed.
i pick up my courage to account my deep secrets to shuz.
b4 accounting, i noe that holy spirit was bugging me.
and i tell u, that feeling was so.... argh.
i reali cant find any words to describe how i feel than..
i rmber that day, it was so significant..
accounted, and guess wat.
i sleep with a smile, i woke up with a smile.
breakthrus in my spiritual walk and felt so set-free.
i am no longer binned!


oh well, i am pretty sure that this is God trying to tell me something.
that freedom that i longed for, it has happened b4..
and today, i need to be set free.
i gonna account!
meeting joyce this sat, tiingg is going to reveal the real ting to her.
tiingg has never reveal herself to others b4...
tiingg has not been the real tiingg..
as God is speaking to me, joyce jus pop up in my mind.
i guess, she is e best candidate =) hahas.
and of cos, she is the one that i truely trust =)


Jesus, i reali hope that everything will come to an end.
God, can i be the one that put everything to an end?
will i be able to do that?
those anxieties - shoo~


today, i went bugis with my sheep, jes.
wow, reali had fun there =)
had alot of sweet memories there.
i bought one tee and one shorts.
i love it =)
i lurve the company of jes, she is one person that i feel so comfortable to be with =)


and yups, we took neo prints!
u noe wat?
the last time i took this kinda pics was 3 years ago!
was rejecting this mann..
cos its ex and once its not nice, ur money will be gone jus lidat!
risky~
but yeah, took it today.. hahas.
i wonder wat had changed my mind mann.
but praise God, it turn out to be not bad =)
kinda sweet thou..
i will post it some days later =)
jes, rmber our deal? =p
-rings and cakes.


went home and guess wat?
david was at my hse!
he came to stay over...
felt abit bad to disturb him and aaron~
wahahas..
and yes, the new recipe soup was nice but salty~
wahahas.
thanks aaron and david!
did confirmation and guess wat?
david hit 12!
yeah!!!!!!
ur P12~
and i hit 17!!!
hooray!!!!
17 leh!
omg.
thank to those who have work hard =)


hey wanling, if u are reading this..
jus wana tell ya that i thank u for ur hard work.
thou ur frenz didnt agree to come tml, but yea, as long as u have done ur best..
God saw ur effort!
its ok, dun give up and yea, God will bless one =)
dun be discourage k!
i reali appreciate u in my cg and i blive God appreciate ur hard work too!


for the rest, thanks for bring ur frenz!
when ur frenz exprience wat is true love, wat is it abt by living a meaningful life, i bet that they will thank u a million!
wahahahas.
this kind of reward is worth our extra miles ya?


there are too many things in the world for me to worry abt.
however, there are alot of things that worth my smile =)
even there is nth that goes well, thanking God for his love, the salvation that was given to me freely is more den enough.
isnt that true?
i can say that my passion for god is still alive.
its not dead.
as long as there is still lost souls out there, my passion shouldnt be dead.
as long as God still loves me, there is no reason for me to turn my back frm him.
everything can fade away, but e wog wun..
everything changes, but the e love of god dun.
the world cause me to be so insecure, but i can always find my security in the lord's arm =)


westA2 will be going to a new chapter if we can constanly hit more den 15.
no longer we are cg, we will be an unit!
new CLs will rise up, new shepherds, new dynamics.
omg, i cant wait for this day to come!
if i am going to give up, i will be worse den a loser.
ting is very on to see a unit for jesus.. wat abt u ? =)


all i need to focus is...

+ my studies.
make sure i can go into a good poly course =)
make sure i dun disappoint e ppl who went extra miles for me..
~dan feng-teaches me maths despite physically tiredness.
~eelee- went extra miles for me, searh teachers, encouraging me..
~daddy -pay for my skool fees, expensive!

+ my grp.
i mus disciple new Cls, new shepherds.
a unit for jesus!


+ my relationship with God and man.

+ myself.
~a better me.


the rest, if its God's will, i will focus.
if not, shoo!
dun try to distract me. =p


hmmms wat else did i forget to say?
okay...
i tik thats abt it.
tml will be a tired but exciting day for me ! =)
1st time ever seeing 17 ppl in my cg.
wahahas.
pray that everything will go well =)

 

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